Mean things that Richard says to me that hurt...

This blog is about my horrible friendship with Richard. Mostly, it is about the mean things my friend Richard says to me that, even though I pretend don't bother me, really hurt my feelings. Yes, I say mean things to him, too, which I might add in a few posts, but his comments are ridiculous. He usually goes for the fat comments. Sometimes he switches things up...only sometimes, though.
Some things will be word-for-word. Others will just be written as close to what was said as I can remember.
He's a jerk...yet he's still my best friend. -_- Ugh.