It’s been a while.
haha. He is so embarrassing.
So, me and Richard are driving around trying to figure out somewhere to eat. He did a turn around in one of those stripmall things and stopped in front of a store and started staring at me. I just stared back and said “What the fuck are you doing!?”. I looked at the store we were in front of. It was a Planet Fitness. I look back at Richard. He just said “Take the hint” and drove away.
What the fuck!?!??!?!?!!? -_-
Since me and Richard don’t really talk all of the time, I won’t have something to post everyday. There are a few IMs from the past that I’ll be sharing, though. This is just one of them. >=/
I have this problem where I tell extremely corny jokes that I find hilarious. Here is the one I told Richard today:
“You know, being ambidextrous must be really convenient! I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous.”
Of course, I found this hilarious, and usually when I tell the joke I get at least a chuckle out of the person that I told it to. Not Richard, though. He had the stupidest look on his face.
Richard: Um, but you have your right arm.
Richard: You have your right arm.
Me: Yeah. Oh my God…you really don’t get it, do you?
So, I retold the joke….
Richard: ANDREA! You still have your right arm!
So, I explained the joke to him. You know, how people say they would give up something important to them so that they can have something else. EX: I would give up a whole year of my life to win the lottery.
Richard: Oh. I get it. I thought you were saying that you didn’t have your right arm.
Me: We aren’t friends anymore.
Everything you are about to read happened in just three hours of shopping.
*I’m looking through shirts on a rack that have sizes XS-L.*
Richard: They don’t have your size.
Me: Richard, I’m either a medium or a large.
Richard: Yeah, right. You’re an extra large….
*I hold up a really cute skirt that I wanted his opinion on*
Me: Do you think this is cute?
Richard: Aww! How cute! You’re buying yourself one pant leg!
*Found a really cute shirt, but they didn’t have it in my size. I walked back over to Richard probably with a pouty face on.*
Richard: What, they didn’t have it in your size?
Me: I AM NOT AN EXTRA LARGE, RICHARD!!!
Richard: C’mon. We both know you don’t wear an extra large….
*At this point, I was thinking that Richard was finally going to be nice to me. WRONG!*
Richard: …I was just being nice before when I said that you were just an extra large. You’re definitely at least an XXL.
So, me and Richard go to Dairy Queen/Orange Julius, because I was about to die from dehydration. Being the wonderful friend that I am, I buy him a chocolate shake and myself some sort of mango smoothie. Once Richard gets his shake, he goes ahead and sits down nearby and waits for me to join him when I get my smoothie. Once I sat down, this is what he said to me:
Richard: What size did you get? Did you really get a medium?
Richard: uhhh…. *Looks me up and down and gives me an “are-you-sure-you-should-have-gotten-one-in-that-size” look*
Me: YOU BITCH! I JUST BOUGHT YOU A SHAKE! BE NICE TO ME!
We were walking downstairs. There are quite a few ways to go up and down levels at the mall we were at. The options are stairs, elevators, escalators, and ramps. I decided to take the ramp. As I walking toward it Richard said “Oh, fatty can’t take the stairs?” I should have taken the stairs. That way I could have pushed him down them. -_-
I was sick the other day and I was telling him about what happened.
Me: I couldn’t hold down any food! I ended up throwing up my dinner!
Richard: Oh, I thought you looked a little thinner today.
Me: It’s not funny. My throat hurt afterwards and my esophagus felt like it was burning!
Richard: You should really try doing that more often…..
Something even worse happened afterwards. He made me go to the movies with him and watch Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked. I told him repeatedly that I did not want to see that movie. -_-
The movie was horrible. I felt myself losing IQ points throughout the movie. I mean, I had to reteach myself how to read afterwards.